Musing: “The ManWolf Speaks”
by MadameX Dreaming of House Dreaming – Imbolc 2014 offering – But you would have to hear me read it… really 😉
When the change comes, I go there. There, I am alone. There, I lose myself. My form. My mind. There I cry and later laugh. There I gain my form. My understanding. But never become whole. This place is most secret.
My pain. A pain so familiar … My vision distorts. Colors around me more vivid. Red. Black. Bright white. My blood on fire . . . burning my flesh . . . my head . . . I must run. I must escape. Never easy. Never gentle. Sometimes I cannot hold on. I fall. Clenching rage. Contorting. Spasming. Aware. Ashamed. Gasping violently. Losing consciousness… Sometimes I can hold on. Still running. Screaming. Flesh of clay. Crackling bone. Running. Howling. I find my secret place. Then lose myself. And gain the form of a wolf. The temper of a wolf. The senses. The hunger … My hunger. It hurts to speak of it. Such yearning.
There. There! Yearning to pounce and draw,yearning to rake and claw, to nuzzle and clench, to rip out and render apart. Savaged and mauled. Pierced and gored. Quiver and whimper. Steaming and moist.Mine to feast! Ah to quench the beast! Salivating. Waiting and prowling the scent. Stealthy and feeding intent.
This hunger. Not just for food. Hunger for running in the woods. Wind through fur. Freedom. Hunger for leaping. Cushioned paws. Fast-beating heart. Hunger for howling. The moon. The vastness of the sky. . . Nature. Freedom. Hunger for the scents in the wind. Humm . . . Sharp eyes. Sharp ears. Sharpness! Hunger for my kind. To be among them. Hunger for mating. But also hunger for the hunt. For the chase. For the kill and for the taste …
I … incomplete. Never whole. Alone as a man. Temporary as a wolf. This malady – a curse. . . . Power – what power? Power is for those who command the change. The change commands me. Not triggered by thoughts. Nor words. Nor feelings. The change comes upon me. Demanding. Overpowering. Uncaring of time. Uncaring of place. The change comes upon me … The change comes…
My heart is that of a wolf. My body, only sometimes. I choose beast over man. I choose beast…
Created by: MadameX Dreaming of House Dreaming on February 3, 2014 (Used with permission of the author – 2014)
© 2014 Serenity’s Fire